Why Do I Love Him?
by ShadowOfTheNight101
Summary: OOC characters! "Truth is, I’m glad that he does that. That he risks his life for others. I wish he wouldn’t, but he does it because he cares for those people...But that is what is bothering me, isn’t it? I love him, but I don’t know why?


Okay first off I just want to say that this is by far not my first fanfic

Okay first off I just want to say that this is by far not my first fanfic. I have billions others. So I am going to continue posting as much as I can. And I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did writing it.

_italic: _thoughts/diary entries

**_bold & italic_: **song lyrics

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**_Why Do I Love Him?_**

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_Dear Diary,_

_6/28/98 _

_I sat in our room just wondering when he was going to return. But here's the thing, I didn't know if I wanted him to return. I mean, of course I wanted him to return, but why? So, I could watch him leave again the next day. Just sit here in our room, while he went out and saved the world. Was that what our life together was going to be? Him leaving all the time, sometimes even weeks at a time, while I stay here and play housewife and mother. _

_Here's the problem with that, we are engaged, not married. We are staying with my parents, since we don't own a house yet. So that rules out playing housewife. There was one more thing, what was it…Oh! Yeah, we have no children. And that rules out playing mom. _

_It's not like I blame him or anything. I know that he is the savior of the Wizarding World, but that's just it. He never wanted to be. So, why is he doing it? The entire world is depending on him. Why can't he tell them to leave him alone? There are tons of wizards that can fight the dark lord. Why does he have to do it? He doesn't. Just say no. _

_Okay! You caught me; those are not my true feelings. Truth is, I'm glad that he does that. That he risks his life for others. I wish he wouldn't, but he does it because he cares for those people. Like I care for him. But that is what is bothering me, isn't it? I love him, but I don't know why. _

**_Do I love you because you're beautiful,  
or are you beautiful because I love you?  
Am I making believe I see in you a man too lovely to be really true?_**

_Dear Diary,  
7/14/98 _

_I guess I have always loved him, but I never questioned it. I never questioned my heart because I always thought it was right. But that's just it, even when I dated other guys I still loved him. But why? Did I love him because of his eyes, or his smile? Or was the reason I love him because he saved my life? Or maybe it was because he's a hero. I don't know. Why do I love you Harry Potter? Why? _

_For the past seven years I have loved him. I spent all that time loving him because that's what my heart felt. I've loved him since his second year. Now I'm nineteen and we're engaged. He and I are to be married this November. However, I don't know if I'm ready to be married. I know that I want to get married, but I don't know if I'm ready. Does that make sense? Maybe not. _

_Dear Diary,  
8/3/98 _

_See, this is what is going to happen. In just a short three months, he and I are going to be married. Till death do us part, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. But I'm scared. Everyday, I read the paper just to hear more about Death Eater attacks and then him saving countless people. Of course, I'm proud of him. I mean, who wouldn't be? But I wish he would come home. I wish he would come home and stay here with me. I want to wake up in the mornings and see him sleeping next to me. I want to go to bed with him being the last thing I see. _

_I read an article in the prophet today. It said that he had finally rounded up most of the Dark Lord's followers. Meaning, he only have to deal with the dark lord and then he could come home. _

**_Do I want you because you're wonderful,  
or are you wonderful because I want you?  
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream  
or are you really as beautiful as you seem?_**

_Dear Diary,  
10/28/98 _

_It's been two and a half months. We are going to be married in a week. ONE WEEK! And he still isn't home. I'm getting really worried. The prophet doesn't say anything and I am in a constant worry. My mother constantly tells me he's fine, but even I can see the worry etched in her face. _

_Dear Diary,  
11/4/98 _

_In two days, we are to be married. The prophet finally announced the downfall of the Dark Lord, but where is he? They say there has been no sign of him since the dark lord's defeat. I even contacted the Head Auror, apparently my fiancee should have returned by now. So where is he? I really hope nothing has happened to him. It would kill me inside to know something happened. _

_I know I should cancel the wedding, but it's too late. My family is already starting to arrive and everybody is so ecstatic about the whole ceremony. So where is he? Everybody is here. My family, our friends, cousins, uncles and aunts, bridesmaids and groomsmen, our maid of honor and best man. Everything is set for our wedding, except for him. _

_WHERE IS HE?! _

**_Am I making believe I see in you a man too perfect to be really true?  
Do I want you because you're wonderful,  
or are you wonderful because I want you?_**

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I sit on our bed as I flipped through the pages of my youth. I smiled as I remembered the few days before our wedding. It was exhausting to say the least. The night before our wedding, when my entire family had sat down around the many tables outside, how he apparated into the forest just on the outskirts of my backyard. He actually caused a few people to scream of Death Eaters until he walked forward and revealed himself.

I was so ecstatic that he had returned that I launched myself into his arms and kissed him with every fiber of my being. All he did was hold me in his arms as tight as he could, stroke my hair as I cried tears of joy at his return, and whisper how sorry he was for being late over and over again.

I was so happy that he returned that I never let him out of my sight. Even though it was wrong, I slept with him that night, just snuggled against his side. I was afraid if I left him for even a moment, he would fade away like a dream. The next morning I woke to find a small note with his scratchy penmanship stating that he would see me in a few hours.

I spent the rest of the day getting ready for our wedding, between make-up, hair and dress, I was fully ready for my walk down the aisle to be with him. When that moment finally came, when we had to say our vows, I was in tears. Not tears of sadness, but tears of joy. I loved him with all my heart and I knew why. It wasn't because of his hair, smile, quidditch skills, or anything of that. It was because he was my best friend, I could tell him anything knowing he wouldn't tell a soul, he was the one of the only people I could trust, and for that I loved him.

As I sat in our room, flipping through page after page of my diary, the one I kept throughout my entire life, the book was well over a thousand pages. I would add more and more pages as I began to dwindle down to the last two, writing my thoughts, hopes and dreams.

I felt a dip in the bed and then him sitting right behind me. I felt him push away my hair and kiss my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my growing stomach.

"What are you reading, my love?" He asked.

"Just the passage I wrote the months and days before our wedding," I replied, finally shutting the book and leaning against him.

"Ah, yes! I remember the night before our wedding well. I'm still very sorry for being so late," He said.

"So why were you late?" I asked.

"I was out buying you your wedding ring," He replied with a chuckle.

"You're so full of it," I said smacking at his hands that covered my belly that was home to our child.

"Maybe so, but you married me."

I smiled as I closed my eyes and just listened to his gentle breathing.

"I love you Harry," I whispered. I didn't even have to lookup to know he was smiling. After spending about three years of my life as his girlfriend, then two as his fiancée, then finally four as his wife, I knew him all too well. I knew him so well that whenever the paparazzi came around, I always knew when he used his "publicity" smile. A smile he only used because he hated the reporters and just gave them a quick smile and left as soon as possible.

It amazes me even today how much we have gone through. It amazes me how we were able to withstand all the trauma and hurdles that we faced and that others threw at us. However, I'm just glad I have him and no one can change that.

As I hear him exhale I know which three words are about to escape his mouth. The words that always make me smile and the ones that always make my heart flutter.

"I love you too, Ginny."

**_Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream  
or are you really as wonderful as you seem?_**

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A/N: This story has been totally revitalized after being deleted off the site. This is not my song. It is from Rodger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella with Brandi. If you haven't seen it...you need to.


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